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Which Campus Statue Are You?

By Grace Ashton

You’re taking a poetry writing class this semester! What are you going to write your first poem about?

  1. I find it a little limiting to choose a “topic”. I instead focus on conveying abstract concepts through equally abstract language.
  2. A cherished memory of home.
  3. How it feels to take off your shoes and dance in the dirt.
  4. I’m not sure, but I’ll give it a few tries to see what works.

The Black Cat formal is coming up! What are you wearing?

  1. Something simple, comfortable, and utterly memorable.
  2. A suit
  3. A thrifted outfit I picked out with friends
  4. Who cares? I’ll wear anything as long as I can dance the night away.

You’ve just failed a math test! What are you going to do?

  1. I’m in a study group with my other classmates, so we’ll figure it out together.
  2. I’ll study harder for the next test.
  3. Let it go- is it really that important?
  4. I’m going to work hard, but in the end it’s not the most important thing.

You find out your roommate has been stealing your Capri-Suns from the minifridge! What do you do?

  1. Take a deep breath and talk through the issue calmly
  2. Tell them clearly that it’s not ok
  3. Criticize them for creating more plastic waste
  4. Buy more Capri-Suns so that there’s enough for both of us

A friend has confided in you about a crush! What advice would you give them?

  1. Relax, see where it goes, and be open
  2. Communicate clearly
  3. Appreciate the magic of these feelings
  4. Have fun


Mostly As:

You’re the chapel garden statue! Veiled in mystery,

no one can quite figure you out. Despite this, you have a comforting

presence that others love to

be around.

Mostly Bs:

You’re Robert Frost! While you might catch people off guard at first glance, you have so much more to offer

than a jump scare. You might also have a tendency to feel a little out of place, like a Vermont poet welded to a bench in Georgia.

Mostly Cs:

You’re the alumnae house statue! You have a deep connection to

nature and love to get your hands dirty. You also might have an interest in nature-based

spiritual practices, especially ones that link you to divine femininity. 

Mostly Ds:

You’re Ramona! Cheerful and a friend to all, you are loved

by all who know you. What you lack in refinement you make up for in heart.

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